News
fastlane
Mall adds 'fast lane' after girl complains of slow shoppers
By Paul Blart

Thanks to the suggestion of a 10-year-old girl who is tired of being stuck behind slow walkers, a British mall has added a "fast lane" painted on its floor. When she got a school assignment

"I am incredibly disappointed by people walking around your shopping centre , it annoys me so bad I want to scream," New-Hobby wrote. "You should stop people walking slow as people are in a rush for work and this could cause

The mall administration responded by creating a "fast lane" and a "slow lane" in pink on the floor, divided by dotted white lines like a roadway. An offramp bypass

to write a formal letter to a public figure or company, Anita New-Hobby decided to let Meadowhall Shopping Centre in Sheffield, England, know their slow shoppers are breaking her stride.

people being late. It is dangerous because if someone bumped into you that person will fall over. Will you ever tell people not to walk so slow? If you do this for me I will be delighted — please do it."

in front of the Marks and Spencer is currently under construction and should be completed before the Victoria Day sales event.

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Police quack home invasion case
By Donald Mallard

Police in Pheasant Run, RI responding to reports of an intruder in a woman's home quickly quacked the case.

A somewhat groused woman called police Saturday from her upstairs bedroom to report that she heard loud banging noises downstairs and feared someone had broken into her home. Officers who responded found no sign of a break-in. But during their search, police found a criminal that fit the bill: a duck.

Police say it appears the duck got in through the chimney and from there was just winging it. As no feathers were ruffled, the duck was released back into a the nearby pond. The homeowner was relieved but unsure waddle happen next.

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One armed bandit saved by a one armed bandit; professional courtesy?
By Richard Kimble

Police in Germany report a casino gambler about to be taken away to jail took one last pull at the slot machine and surprisingly won enough money to pay off his fine.

The 37-year-old man was wanted by police because he had been ordered to pay a $900 fine or face 71 days in jail for resisting arrest. The man, who ironically has only one arm himself, was easily recognized by two officers at the casino. Police said they approached him and were about to make the arrest when he "started beaming all of a sudden." The man had just won a $1,268 jackpot, allowing him to pay his fine on the spot.

Artist draws The Beatles With pancake batter: Makes his own Good Day Sunshine
By Anne T. Jemima

You can eat these eight days a week--or after a hard day's night. Artist Nathan Shields sketched the Beatles with pancake batter capturing the process in one rockin' video that recently went viral on YouTube. While Shields posted the video a several months ago, the viral attention continually renews like an influenza virus that keeps mutating.

Has his choice of medium impacting anything outside of his art? "I should have known better," explains Shields. "I've ate so many of my trial sketches and carry that weight." But Shields recently swore off consuming his drafts for a serious diet saying, "that was yesterday." "I'm a loser, he concluded in the end.

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It's not rocket science: Oxford researchers compile Top Ten list irritating phrases
By Noam Sayin

A top 10 of irritating expressions has been compiled by researchers at Oxford University. At the end of the day the phrases will appear in a book called Damp Squid, named after the mistake of confusing a squid with a squib, a type of firework. The research team work 24/7 to monitor the use of phrases in a fairly unique database called the Oxford University Corpus, which comprises books, papers, magazines, broadcast, the internet and other sources.

At this moment of time the top ten most irritating phrases are:

  1. At the end of the day
  2. Fairly unique
  3. I personally
  4. At this moment in time
  5. With all due respect
  6. Absolutely
  7. It's a nightmare
  8. Shouldn't of
  9. 24/7
  10. It's not rocket science

With all due respect for irritating words like literally" and "ironically", at the end of the day this list is absolutely the last word. Asked whether Oxford research funds should be used to further this ilk of study, University Rector Professor Isiah Olchap responded, "I personally feel it's a nightmare. They shouldn't of."

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Fun guy saves all his toenail clippings since 1978
By O. C. Dee

File this under curious. 58-year-old oil investor Richard Gibson has a peculiar collection. For the past 36 years, he has been religiously saving all his toenail clippings in a glass jar. At parties, he must be a real fun guy.

Collecting toenails is a strange hobby, but Richard says that he didn’t exactly plan for it – it sort of happened as a result of his compulsion curiosity, and he just never stopped. He happened to be clipping his nails one day in February, 1978, and instead of throwing them out, he just put them in a manicure box. He then started doing it repeatedly, just to see how long it would take to fill up the box. That didn’t take too long – only two years – and by then he was pretty much hooked. So he moved his collection to a large glass jar, which is what now uses to put the clippings in.

“I have no idea how many nails are in the jar, Gibson admitted. It's well into the thousands.” Even so, his current jar is only 99 percent full, and Gibson says he has no idea what he's going to do when it's completely filled. “I’ll probably put them into something else,” he said. “I’ve got enough room for several more months worth of nails.”

It hasn't been easy to keep up the collecting – Richard has had to hide the jar from his ex-wife and from visitors for several weeks at a time, but, against all odds, he has kept his menagerie safe and his collection growing.

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It takes guts to make beer
By Agata Burp

This medical case gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "beer gut." A 61-year-old man — with a history of home-brewing — stumbled into a Texas emergency room complaining of dizziness. Nurses ran a Breathalyzer test and found the man's blood alcohol concentration was a whopping 0.37 percent, or almost five times the legal limit for driving in Texas. There was just one hitch: The man said that he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol that day.

"He would get drunk out of the blue — on a Sunday morning after being at church, or really, just anytime," says Barabara Cordell, the dean of nursing at Panola College in Carthage, Texas. "His wife was so dismayed about it that she even bought a Breathalyzer." Other medical professionals chalked up the man's problem to "closet drinking." But Cordell and Dr. Justin McCarthy, a gastroenterologist in Lubbock, wanted to figure out what was really going on. So the team searched the man's belongings for liquor and then isolated him in a hospital room for 24 hours.

Throughout the day, he ate carbohydrate-rich foods, and the doctors periodically checked his blood for alcohol. At one point, it rose 0.12 percent. Eventually, McCarthy and Cordell pinpointed the culprit: an overabundance of brewer's yeast in his gut.

According to Cordell and McCarthy, the man's intestinal tract was acting like his own internal brewery. The patient had an infection with Saccharomyces cerevisiae, Cordell says. So when he ate or drank a bunch of starch — a bagel, pasta or even a soda — the yeast fermented the sugars into ethanol, and he would get drunk. Essentially, he was brewing beer in his own gut.

This is an academic demonstration site built at DePaul University CDM, June 11, 2015.

© Mayi Nabine